I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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