She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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