I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
