Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize