Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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