Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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