I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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