You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
