i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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