Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize