i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
