gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
