I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
