So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just gargled with NyQuil
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
