why didn't you poke me back
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
