Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize