You're my little dorito
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
