Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize