just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
