She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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