Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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