What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm just crazy horny about you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
