I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
