seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
