Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
please come you make the beer taste better
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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