Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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