why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
