Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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