and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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