my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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