just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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