I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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