I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
