I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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