Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
