I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
