idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You are the jesus of drinking
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
