Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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