it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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