Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
