you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize