So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
