So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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