please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize