she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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