we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
