Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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