their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
