Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
