One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
