I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
