Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
