No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
