I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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