i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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