Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
even my farts smell like vagina
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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