it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize