So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
