I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
