I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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