cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
