not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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