he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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