A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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