Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just gift wrapped bread.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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